Parody of "Goodbye Earl" by Dixie Chicks (Dennis Linde) EMI Blackwood Music, Inc. on behalf of itself and Rising Gorge music (BMI)
New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC))/Of Music Inc. (SESAC)

(Be vewy vewy qwiet…we are huntin' somethin')

Me and Harold Muffert were outdoors men
Set in our backwoods ways
Both members of the huntin' club
Both active in the NRA
(National Redneck Association)

We scouted a location where we had no doubt
We'd kill the biggest buck in the world
(About a 34-pointer)
Harold waited in his tree stand
But all he seen was a squirrel

Dang near two weeks since the season started
And neither one of us was amused
(HA HA HA)
We had on real tree camo, high-powered ammo
But no big game to shoot

Then we finally saw a deer as big as a horse
Harold had him in his crosshairs
(Shoot him!)
But that squirrel jumped off of a branch above us
And landed in Harold's hair
(Dang, get it out! Dang!)

Harold fell off the stand, on his head he landed
Like a wimp he laid there cryin
Till I climbed on down,
Picked him up off the ground
And it didn't take us long to decide,
That squirrel had to die

Goodbye squirrel
With black-eyed peas,
You're gonna taste good to me
Squirrel
It's you or me,
Come on out of that tree
Squirrel
Hey guess what,
You've eaten your last nut
Squirrel

Me and Harold went down to the surplus store
Bought a keg of dynamite
Two baseball bats and a case of M-80s
We were in for one heck of a fight
(We'll show you!)

When you're huntin' with dumb and dumber
Something's surely bound to go wrong
(Now be careful)
And when Harold lit that real short fuse
I knew it wouldn't be long

When the dynamite blew,
Harold's foot did too
And fingers began tTime to call another girl in town, time to take all of your pictures down
It's time to let them know, I'm still around
Wish I had the words to say it right , the show is over
Let's just say goodnight, and all the feelings that were locked inside
Are free
Cause it's the
First time in a long time, I'm here on my own
And I'm finding reasons , to carry on strong
There's no easy way to leave it all behind
Cause it's the
First time in a long time
I'll be all right
I might just take a ride on the open sea, a million miles from where I used to be
With every step I take, I do believe ..oh
I see my whole world from the inside out, one more reason not to cry out loud
A new beginning and I'll find my way somehow
Now it's the….
First time in a long time, I'm here on my own
And I'm finding reasons , to carry on strong
There's no easy way to leave it all behind
Cause it's the
First time in a long time
I'll be all right
B part:
I could tell you my story, bout the hell I've been through, oh yeah
I've been praying for the answers, a nd all that really matters
Is coming out of the blue
Cause it's the
First time in a long time, I'm here on my own
And I'm finding reasons , to carry on strong
There's no easy way to leave it all behind
Cause it's the
First time in a long time
It's the , first time in a long time
It's the , first time in a long time
But I'll be all right, I'll be all right
Time to call another girl in town

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